is this real life?

okay, i believe i have gathered myself enough to compose a blog. let me just say that i have basically been scared out of my wits these past few days. it's like i'm in denial about the entire situation, incapable of accepting the fact that the life i want is here for the taking.

i am going to grad school. i am going to the only school i was ever genuinely interested in attending.

i have a series of questions on repeat in my head:

• why me?
• what made me worth any sort of effort?
• i worked hard but did i really work that hard?

one question i am not asking, though, is whether or not i can do this. because i don't lack confidence when it comes to that. i can do this.

a part of me had grown complacent here at this job and in this current life. i knew that would happen and change was going to shake me up all over again. i also know it's a change that i want and need. i can't be here forever; i don't want to be here forever.

so, here's to my new life. wish me luck.