and i'm not liking it.
the reality of coming to work today to do groups was overwhelmingly depressing. i kept seeing jessica's face in my head and it made my stomach turn. i know, i know, that sounds terrible, but it's the damned truth. it's funny, though, because before this weekend i was filled with dread at the thought of moving and having to start a new life. oh but mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord and it was good, very good. however, until august i am stuck at this desk, stuck with her face, stuck because i need to pay off my debts.
so i guess it's needless to say that this weekend went very well. although i spent a lot of time questioning myself and what the hell i was doing with these people who went to ivy league schools, as jordan said "we all ended up at the same place anyway" and she's right. my state-school education got me to the same place as them so fuck it. i am where i belong.
jordan, i might add, is a kindred spirit i just so happened to have sat next to during thursday night's dinner. yes, the powers that be gave one last nod in my direction and nudged me towards one of the only other "normal" individuals. and, as luck would have it, jordan has managed to dissolve my most nagging worry by agreeing to be my roommate in austin. i'm finally excited about moving!
now i just have to get through these last few months.
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