always doing damage control

i was kind of emotional this weekend. okay, i was really emotional this weekend, which was a fitting end to the week i experienced.

let's start with friday. i went to sandra's anniversary thing. she read a new short story and, i shit you not, i struggled to keep from shedding a few tears. in the car i ended up bawling like a little bitch. it was about her mother who died about a year and a half ago. might not have been truly good enough to warrant such an outward display of emotion but I DON'T CARE.

ahem...

i passed out early (also like a little bitch) because of the muscle relaxers. i haven't taken the stupid things since. my jaw, i should mention, was getting better, but i'm not so sure now.

on to saturday...

my boyfriend said something mean to me while we were on our wonderful date. again, i wasn't all that successful in holding back a few tears. were they necessary? probably not. maybe? fuck it, i'm not in the mood for reason nor attempting a cogent argument. so we'll leave that there.

and later, i don't know, i think my body becomes aware of things i'm supposed to remember before i do. we're at the bar, i'm depressed as shit for some unknown reason, and then it hits me... april 18th. fuckin hell. now is that really my reason or is it merely where i am placing the blame? i don't know. i feel something coming on, some sort of unpleasant emotion that will surely lead me down a path of self-destruction.

i need some excitement ASAP. things are dull; i'm dull; semicolons? NOT DULL.

post scriptum: fuck you world for not telling me sooner that velveeta shells & cheese now comes in single-serving cups.